yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
