Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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