Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
