It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
