whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
