I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
