"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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