she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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