So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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