Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
