he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
