I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
