feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
