i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help