Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.