if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They have beer where we have blood.