i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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