Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
