So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it penis luge time yet?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Still dying that you shit outside
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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