That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
