Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
