We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
