An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The air taste purple.
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