I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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