it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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