Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize