Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
