He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize