then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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