is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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