ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
