operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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