I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
