Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
