i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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