I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
