I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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