This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
