i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
