yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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