i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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