she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
