After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
