I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
