I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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