just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
