you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
