She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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