I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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