I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
