watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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