Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
