I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
