I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
