So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i think im in europe. pls send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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