that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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