Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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