My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
