Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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