I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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