Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
