That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize