Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
