I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
