Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
